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Self Help - Which means your Life Is Full Of Problems - That's Great!

Self Help - Which means your Life Is Full Of Problems - That's Great!

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Not just is life suffering from pain, it is also suffering from problems. Do you ever have days as soon as your life seems beset by problems? We all do. Have you also noticed how on other days, the identical issues don't seem like problems whatsoever? In the same way that there is provoke find the positive from the pain, there is also cause to celebrate problems. In case you didn't have any problems in your lifetime, you would be stagnating. Sure you would be safe, but you wouldn't be growing.
So, what should you do if you have problems in your life?
As amazing mainly because it seems, problems only exist when you notice them, think about them or take note of them. Identifying a difficulty causes it to exist. Until that point there is no problem. The situation with having a problem is that we tend to focus on there and in doing so, ignore anything else that is not the problem.
When we find a problem, we expend a great deal of energy on clearly defining and putting boundaries on the problem so that we realize exactly where it is, how it's, how big it is what why it is a problem for us. This is a wonderful academic exercise, but does little to help you find solutions, to see beyond the problem or understand why it arose in your lifetime and what you are meant to learn or heal on account of it.
While you stay focused on the problem, specially if it is a big bad overwhelming problem, it is sometimes complicated for you to see into the space that isn't the problem.
The biggest tips I could give in relation to problems in your lifetime are:
It is not useful to immerse yourself in the 'drama' of your problem. The process does not serve you. Go above the drama and seek the learning outcome the relationship is presenting to you.
Every 'problem' exists to assist you gain an understanding about you or life. Once you gain the understanding you can watch the problem melt away.

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It isn't healthy to use your problems to gain attention for yourself or to reinforce any victim or martyr pattern you run.
There are a number of different techniques you should use when you have a 'problem' in your own life to assist you to find answers to or gain understandings in regards to the problem.
1. Using Logic
You may use the following questions to help you find your way around problems that you experienced. Identifying the problem in writing and listing what you really are going to do about this can help you to see your way clear for the solution on the other side with the problem. Taking the actions you've got identified will help you to gain whatever you have to learn from the problem.
Answer these questions in relation to the problem:
What is the problem?
How does one currently feel about the issue?
What is the outcome or goal that you will be seeking in relation to the challenge?
What feelings will you have if you achieve this outcome or goal?
What hurdles or barriers are currently preventing you from the achievement of the goal?
What personal strengths have you got that will assist you to achieve this outcome or goal?
What other resources would help you to achieve the outcome or goal?
What things could you try?
What actions will you take?
When will these actions be taken by?
How will you reward yourself when you achieve this outcome/goal?
2. Identifying The root Metaphor Or Message
Problems in your life are showing you issues to heal, i.e. exactly what you hoped to learn and overcome on this lifetime. Look at the problems in your lifetime and see if they contain messages or metaphors in your case about which area you will ever have needs to be healed. Exactly what are they showing you? When you are getting the message, step up on the lesson and meet it go on. Be courageous and heal it forever. All problems are purely and just learning and growth opportunities.
I don't underestimate the difficulty to do what I have suggested in the earlier paragraph. When I first started seeing life using this method, what I am suggesting would be a difficult and often soul baring method to undertake. The more I did so it, however, the better it has become. I now view problems as puzzles will solve and heal. I boost to each one knowing upfront that often I will not like what investigating the actual meaning behind the issue will show me about myself.
3. Treatment of Emotional Attachment
The meaning or the lesson behind the issue becomes so much easier to discern when you are able remove your emotional attachment for the situation (i.e. little one the drama). If you can step back from the problem and look at it objectively, it will be much easier to understand the reason for and the lesson being gained from the problem. You will also understand how it fits into the larger scheme of your life.
4. Going to a Different Perspective Around the Issue
This technique is especially effective for conditions that involve other people. When other people are involved, it can be our being unable to see their perspective for the situation that led to the problem in the first place. Remember that other people in your life will often be either:
Reflecting messages back about yourself; and/or
Assisting you to learn your lessons.
It's also helpful to understand that people have a different perspective on a single situation.
For example, some years ago I was friends using a newly married couple have been experiencing difficulties. One night the husband rang me, informed me his wife was out and that he needed someone to talk with. I listened and it was amazed at his perspective over a marriage that I, as an outsider, had seen very differently. Another week his wife rang, explained her husband was out for that night and she needed a person to talk to. Again I listened. Her take a look at the marriage was vastly distinctive from both her husband's and mine. In reality, if had not known both of them, I would have sworn we were holding talking about different marriages.
Just like that the husband and wife saw their marriage through vastly different lenses, so too do most people in relationships (particularly difficult ones). If both parties could step outside themselves and their focus upon their own wounds to walk miles in the other person's moccasins, your situation could often be quickly and harmoniously resolved.
It will help to resolve the problem in case you let go of the need to be right. It serves neither you nor your lover. If the other person has a need to be right, recognize that is where they are on their journey and neglected. You cannot heal others, only yourself. In healing yourself you will, however, open just how for them to heal themselves.
5. Asking Yourself Questions To Find Answers to Problems
An intense focus upon the issue can often stop you from finding ways of the problem. Asking yourself questions dependant on the use of Cartesian logic will help you find your way to solutions. It is usually a fun technique to use with friends stuck within a problem.
Cartesian logic contains four simple questions you can use with linguistics to aid see beyond your problems and initiate to find solutions. Cartesian logic claims that for a problem to prove true it must prove true in all of the four of the following quadrants (which we'll replace with questions):
What wouldn't happen if you did?
What happens if you did?
What wouldn't normally happen if you didn't?
What happens if you didn't?
Mastering these four simple questions will enable you to think outside your problems to the place where solutions is found.
For example, a lady stumbled on see me. Her problem in connection with her wastrel husband and whether she should leave him. Industry experts her the four questions from Cartesian logic the next:
What would happen if you left your husband?
What would happen if you didn't leave your husband?
What wouldn't happen if you left your husband?
What wouldn't happen should you didn't leave your husband?
Once she had answered the questions she'd found her solution.
Other's Problems
It is tempting to rush in and help other people sort out their problems and give them the benefit of your entire great wisdom and personal growth experience.
Here are my tips for helping other individuals:
Remember people can only be helped whenever they (not you) are set.
It is far better to help someone develop their own solution to a problem then it is for you to solve it for the children. They will have 'ownership' of the solution and become more willing to implement it.
Some people thrive on playing the 'yes but' game with regards to their problems. This is game the person together with the problem is guaranteed to win. It's a good idea if you cease to try out the game as soon as you recognize it or stop it before it even starts.
An example of the 'yes, but' game:
Paul: We have this really big problem. It is a giant banana. (The action has begun).
Rebecca: Oh dear. I'd one of them once and i also found that apples were the answer.
Paul: Yes, however that won't work for me because... (He gets to do his first 'yes, but').
Rebecca: Oh. Well, I've also heard that carrot sticks may help.
Paul: Yes, but that won't work for me because... (With the second 'yes, but' things are needs to hot up).
Rebecca: Oh. The sole other suggestion I have is to use lettuce.
Paul: Yes, others have suggested this too, but it won't work for me because... (This is the third 'yes, but', he is nearly the winner).
Rebecca: Well that's a big problem. I don't have any idea how to help you.
Ta da and Paul is currently the winner with the 'yes, but' game as he just proved that he carries a problem that is soooo big and soooo bad that no-one else may help him. Poor Paul, such a great way to get attention and stay stuck in the problem.
The individual with the problem in the 'yes but' game isn't seeking your assist with solve the problem. They may be seeking confirmation that they have a problem that is just too large and so bad that no-one else may help them. They are seeking confirmation from the correctness of their decision to stay stuck in the problem because it's so bad it cannot be overcome. Playing the overall game does not aid either you or them.

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